When reading ancient literature on love one of the metaphors commonly used is that relationships are like vineyards. Healthy relationships therefore produce many bunches of large, good grapes and an abundance of wine, while unhappy relationships produce small fruit or no fruit of all.

Understanding is the key, to understanding some relationship advice that has been around for centuries and so old it is printed in the bible. “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!” Foxes actually love to eat grapes and in those days, considered a pest as they would sneak into the vineyards at night and eat the grapes. The grapes hardly have the chance to grow to maturity and survive to harvest time.

What this　piece of relationship advice means is that we are to pay attention to the little things, those that can creep through almost unnoticed but if allowed to　come　into our　relationships can actually destroy them. We need to　be vigilant and on our guard to notice the things that　can easily be overlooked but over time　will begin to change our feelings toward the person we love. Some of the more common “foxes” in relationships include feelings of jealousy, mistrust, criticism, or self-pity. If we are not on guard against mistrust for example, our partner　may do something that we do not understand and our response will be to question their intentions. We begin to assume that they are doing something or intended something that may have never crossed their mind and then because　we do not trust them we do not properly work our way through it. Mistrust grows into suspicion and　accusation, before very long, there is a huge breach in relationship, and it is difficult to navigate your way back.

Perhaps the　best　rule in relationships to deal with these “foxes” is to have an agreement that whenever possible you will not go to bed at night with unresolved issues. Be willing to identify what　your particular fox is - the negative emotions in your relationship that you have a tendency to struggle with - and commit to addressing it as soon as it comes up. The answer may be to catch yourself as soon as you get into negative thinking patterns　and stop yourself or honestly share with your partner the particular thing in which you are struggling to resolve.

Advice that has withstood the test of time is worth listening to, perhaps the key　to rebuilding your unhappy relationships can be found in “catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love…”

Sandy Adams   

When you find yourself in an unhappy relationship the answer isn’t always to just walk away and look for the earlier magic with someone else. The key to true happiness in relationships is found in making the magic last over the long term and this simply takes understanding and a little bit of work.

The first thing to do to turn around a unhappy relationship is to commit yourself to doing the best things you can think of for the other person regardless of what they do for you. Take the time to think of ways that you can demonstrate love on a daily basis. Sometimes this can be found in the smallest things - bring them coffee, leave a note in their lunch or somewhere it can easily be found, leave gifts for no reason than because. This simple demonstration that you care and are thinking of them will help the other person feel special and significant, and help remind them why they fell in love with you in the first place.

Another good thing to do is to create an environment where the two of you can spend time talking and sharing feelings on a regular basis. When you are in an unhappy relationship, it is easy to begin to feel that your partner does not understand or appreciate you. Do whatever you can do to take that feeling away. Go out to intimate places and be ready to ask questions until you get to the heart of how your partner is feeling and they feel like you have heard them. Work to let them say what is on their mind without you trying to defend yourself or argue with them. Be prepared to share your feelings to so they feel they are connected in with your heart.

There are many factors that may contribute to an unhappy relationship and sometimes there may be specific issues that have to be identified and dealt with. Above are some simple tips that will help set you in the right direction. 

~Sandy Adams - Editorial Opinion  -  The Magic of Making Up

There are many things that can cause a break up, some even tragic, possibly either party could have committed an act that caused humiliation. Whatever the cause, more than likely your lover still has emotional hurt feelings. If you want to get your lover back, you will have to heal all of the wounds created during the breakup. This will not be an easy task, and you will have to work with gentle understanding and a lot of tenderness.

You might want to look at both sides of the breakup and the attitude of yourself and your mate. It may be that there are things about yourself that need improvement in handling situations. This of course applies to both you and your partner. They may be small things that either of you do not realize that make the situation a struggle for harmony. Sometimes the situation seems impossible for the other partner; even if you feel, they are insufficient.

You must be open to criticism, if you plan to seek relationship advice. Some advice to you would be to take a good look at yourself and evaluate if you can improve on your part of the relationship. This is necessary for either partner if reconciliation is to be established. Have an open mind and listen to what is being said, even if you do not like what you are hearing. Take any advice given seriously and learn to be more sensitive. Perhaps hearing advice from others will help to get your ex back.

Arguing with your ex and getting emotional certainly will not help to get back your love. If your love gets upset and emotional, try to be tender and compassionate to the situation. Try to understand they are deeply troubled and need to be nurtured to heal their feelings of hurt. Whatever the person you love may be feeling, they will need you to give them time and space. Remember the tender touch comes with a sense that you understand and care deeply.

True love will often require an act of response to many things that seem unnatural. Get to know those moments and act with some tenderness and compassion. If your relationship is significant to you and you want to rekindle the union, you will have to make some adjustments. Tenderness and understanding will help if you want to get your lover back.

Sandy Adams 

Breaking up with a loved one is emotionally the same as the death of one. There are a number of things that you can do to assist in surviving this impassioned time of grief. You need to know that you will be broken hearted and it is okay to break down and cry as needed. It is impossible to go through life without pain. One must never keep your emotions of pain bottled up inside. You should keep a journal of your feelings, and do whatever it takes to release all of the pain and move on. Unbelievably, your expressive journal will help you to get through this dreadful time and with this relationship or future relationships.

Now that you are in control and have a calm state of mind, you can evaluate the situation, as to where you and your partner are in the relationship. Knowing where you are allows you and your partner to make the right decision on reconciliation. More times than not, you will find that the relationship is truly over. If this is the case, your decision will be something that you and your ex partner will have to accept. Once you are at terms with things, you take the next step.

Now that you have come to the decision to discontinue the relationship, you and your ex will need to remove any overlaps in your lives. You should exchange and return any property that might have been left at the other’s home. This sort of agreeing separation will assure that nothing is left as a volatile explosion later on in your lives.

To further assist in completing your separation, you should perform a finalizing ritual. A symbolic event should be something that will involve a representation of your ex, by an enactment of destruction. An example could be burn their photo, delete their files off your computer, etc. The symbolic gesture is for your benefit and well-being.

It is now time for you to use whatever support is available to you. We all have friends and family that will be more than happen to provide emotional support. You will still face a challenge of mental turmoil and as a result you will need all of the assistance you can get to survive a breakup.

Surviving a difficult relationship breakup is devastating and hard to deal with, on you and your ex. There are a great number of hurt emotions and feelings, and the act of surviving a breakup will involve a great deal of personal strength. The task of getting on with life may seem daunting, especially with a big void in your life and this void cannot be replaced with just anything. It seems it is just too painful and difficult to handle. As daunting as this task seems, you need to take solace in that you and your partner will survive and will be moving forward.

 Relationships are a state of being between two people and they are supposed to bring out the best in us. Many times, it is the root for needing self-help advice . Most self-esteem issues are associated with our relationships. It does not matter if you are dating or in a marriage or just in love, it can make us feel either better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us, make us feel wanted, loved and accept us as we are. We all want to be needed and respected and want the relationship to make us feel we are the most important person in the world, unfortunately that does not always happen.

Often we will try to find out if the reason for your difficulties in your relationships is the problems between the two of you. You ask yourself, is it because of problems that originated early on in either of your lives. It can be exhausting trying to find the original root of the matter but one thing is obvious, you have problems.

The best thing to do is try to fix the relationship that you are in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome each other challenges. You may be interested in reading self help books and utilize different self-help techniques. If the strength and bond of your relationship is strong, there will be no need to focus on healing yourself. You will have a partner to support and help you overcome the difficulties. First, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.

Never criticize your partner or allow yourself to be criticized, or at least do not internalize it. Always make sure you do not criticize the one you love. “There is no such thing as constructive criticism.” There is not anything constructive about criticism. Criticism will only make one partner feel less powerful than the other. Criticism is a way of manipulating and abusers use it in the same way. Your relationship should not be a power struggle or a conflict against an enemy. Quit treating it as war and there will not be any fights to win or lose.

There are a number of things that you can initiate to help the relationship. If your beliefs are at odds, try discussing the situation. Instead of pointing out each other’s wrongfulness or their weaknesses, try to find common ground. Take time to discuss what each other’s roles are in the relationship and discuss what you expect of the other. Let your partner know what hurts. Let them know what it is you want or need and be willing to offer the same to them.

Whether you are dating or involved in a marriage there are many alternatives in which help better your situation. Once the two of you have worked to repair the relationship; put away any talks of divorce, separation, or breaking up, the two of you can work together and accomplish a loving relationship. Your relationship will then contribute to the fulfillment and help yourself image and help you overcome all the things that holding you back.

Sandy Adams

Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.

The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.

Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.

This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.

Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.

You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.

The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.

Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can un-land her just as easily.

She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.

You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.

The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.

So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn’t pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T ‘Dub’ Jackson called “The Magic Of Making Up”. After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.

You might want to check out “The Magic of Making Up” yourself. Purchase at:   http://www.advice-themagicofmakingup.com

Sandy

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

• Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

• Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.

• Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

• Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

• Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.

Whatever you are feeling, whatever state your love life is in, it is normal. You will have things in common with others, but your issue is unique to you. This blog is dedicated to relationships knowing there is always someone to share and to help you with a problem – that is one relationship you cannot afford not to have.

My name is Sandy and I share relationship advice. The majority of this site is women and men who have sought help in creating successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships.

The methods I am about to share with you are based on real-life feedback from thousands of real-life women and men who tried my relationship advice and found that it produced a dramatic difference in their lives.

This resource Blog is my journal of latest insights.

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